I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
