he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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