how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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