We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
