im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
