I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
soo... how was my night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
