i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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