I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
