you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
