so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
