If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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