i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
