The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
