You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There are leaves in my underwear?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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