Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
