My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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