dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
