i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
