my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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