I love black thongs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Small penises have feelings too.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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