I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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