found the other keg... it's in the tree
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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