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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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