I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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