it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
