I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YAS. BRING CRAB.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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