I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
