At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
