The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Two words: nipple clamps
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