bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
