I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A+ Viking dick
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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