Well douche your snatch and let's go!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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