Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
