So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
