but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
