Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
