In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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