They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
