do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
