I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
