omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
