Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm at about main and main street
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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