i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
