I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
