I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No more Irish car bombs ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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