dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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