u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pappa wants mamma naked
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
