chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
