sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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