there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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