And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
