I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
