well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
